I totally agree with the OT eval and would recommend a speech and language eval as well. Both disciplines will have special ways to help this child and can create a program specifically for him. I’m an SLP and at our clinic we have many parents call us first, then we ask their dr for he referral. I live in Idaho and I’m sure all states are a little different and insurance can be tricky.
Some books I love: the out of sync child and Einstein didn’t use flash cards
For social ideas: social thinking.com ; Michelje Garcia Winner is at the head of the social thinking movement dealing with high functioning kiddos in the spectrum ; her super flex program is great for boys, I use it daily at work , as well as Let’s make it better program ( basically social stories) I’m thinking some social stories regarding soiling himself. These also don’t have to be fancy , I have seriously in the moment drawn out 6-8 boxes on a paper and used stick figures I labeled bc I’m not an artist and we talk in the moment about what happened, then “make it better” by rewriting it the expected way.
For some ADHD issues, I love the website that corresponds with ADDITUDE magazine; I get emails daily about tips and ideas ( it really helps to know you are not alone )
My son has ADHD mixed, mild Aspergers, sensory issues, ODD, OCD , etc
Homeschooling him has been the greatest thing we have done for him. He was in private school for k-3, last year was our first HS year and I wish I could get back those lost years.
I agree with the Montessori methods of teaching ideas too. We have used sensory bins ( think rice, popcorn kernels, oatmeal ( we are gluten free so this one was expensive) fish rocks, water, etc) pinterest has a lot of ideas. I find which textures he likes best and we use those, but I also begin to introduce the non desired textures to help him grow (shaving cream, slime, etc for him) for his age she could just hide ABC letters, numbers , colors, shapes matching, rhyming words, etc) then he digs them out.
I have posters ( now that he’s older I use maps, etc) at his height throughout the house. I change it up and when inspired to look at them, we learn from them in that moment
I have really learned to follow his lead within my boundaries. All choices are ones I’m fine with, if that makes sense?
This subject is very dear to my heart as my son has struggled so much and I’ve worked with so many families who have struggled too. Wishing your friend all the best. I hope others will share their thought too, I love learning new ways to help my son. I feel like we grow daily ! Take care