Reassure me that this is, in fact, a good idea and we should DO IT!

[mamalisa]

My husband and I are in the final stages of deciding whether to homeschool this coming year. I know which curriculum we want to use. I’ve made a list of supplies and materials we will need to purchase and have an estimate of costs. But we are still so nervous at jumping in. I’ve made a list of reasons to homeschool and we’ve discussed. We agree that it is the superior method of educating and think overall it would be a good fit for our family. I think we are just both so nervous to pull the trigger, so to speak. We have 4 kids: 7, 5, 3, and 1. The 5 year old requires speech therapy and since we’d be leaving the district we will now need to seek private speech therapy through insurance. Which may actually be good/better than the speech he received through the district when he was in preschool (although we were overall very happy with her). If we continue with public schools (going into 2nd and K for the older kids), they will be starting a brand new school up the street. So we are thinking now is a good time to just pull them so as to minimize transitions in the future if we pull them in a couple years. Also, our 3 year old is supposed to start preschool (yes we decided to have her do preschool) but she isn’t completely potty trained so now we may have to delay her start until January. And it’s looking like our 1 year old may require some OT and/or speech as she isn’t walking or talking yet.

SO, even with all this I feel like this is do-able. Right?!? I mean, yes with this many kids these ages it’s going to be a lot. But I have a sitter/nanny who can help me about 10 hours a week. I can shift around lesson plans for when the girls are napping… etc. I can do this right? This is a good idea? I hate that I am still doubting this even though I truly believe homeschooling is a good choice. I think I’m afraid of failing.

[mamalisa]

Also I wish I had a close friend who could really encourage and mentor me. We know some friends who homeschool their older girls and they absolutely love it. She did encourage me to do it as did a cousin who has homeschooled her 5 children, the youngest being about 10 and the oldest is like 27. But in our immediate area, I don’t know anyone who does. I’m a member of a homeschooling support group that is very large and organized, and plan on getting more involved with them so that is good. But I feel like such a weirdo in our neighborhood when my friends learn we are thinking of doing this. The first response is, “oh I’d just never have the patience for that”, as if I’m some sort of special person who can do this. Because frankly I am not. I am not the most patient mom, I just really want to do this for my kids and for my family. But being surrounded by naysayers is not helping.

[Jenny]

I understand. It feels like such a BIG decision! When my husband and I were first talking about homeschooling I really went back and forth about it for months. Then I think I mentally made an ‘absolutely yes’ decision and I was so excited about it and sure about it… on one hand but I had this doubt too that kept nibbling on me and I really worried about if I was going to be able to do this. I too am not the most patient of parents. I understand the comments that people can make when you tell them you are homeschooling. Instead of letting anyone make you feel like you’re weird, try to look at it as you being much more educationally open-minded! (Have you ever read Robert Frost’s poem, The Road Not Taken?) You’re taking the road not taken by homeschooling, and the sights you’ll see will be amazing! It sounds like you have some challenges in the road, but I think you will find that along the way the tools that you need to succeed will be there. I don’t have a lot of experience with homeschooling, I’ve only been doing it for 2 years now with three children but I really am glad that my husband and I made the decision to homeschool. Everyday isn’t great and fun and easy and dinner isn’t always ready and the house gets messier than I like. I still will stress out about things that I shouldn’t, and even last week I let a stranger’s comments about homeschooling make me temporarily feel inferior… but I’m so close to my kids now. I just got amazing testing results in the mail, and we have fun memories already, my kids are learning, and I’m truly happy that I took a different path and chose to homeschool. I quoted the poem below to my daughter this morning and I thought of it when I read your post. Maybe, I was meant to share it with you today!

The Road Not Taken

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I —
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

[htfhilltopfarm]

May I say that you are approaching this in a very good manner. It is very normal to doubt and worry about change.
What I like about homeschooling is that it is so doable with YOUR own schedule of what works best for YOUR household and each one of YOUR children’s readiness to learn at the given moment, given hour, day, month. (Learning happens easiest at our house when readiness is shown.)
It takes flexibility and ideas to make it all work, but it is so rewarding to see learning happen as children are open to learning. They just blossom and keep blossoming at their own speed, not having to keep up with an unnatural learning speed of other children. A lot of the labeling and need for special services just goes away as children are allowed to learn in their own timing and not compared to the “standard or norm”.
Your three year old can do preschool at home this fall without the “potty-training completed” delay till January.
An idea might be to set learning goals - maybe initially for the week or month and as you see progress in all of you, then set some semester or year goals, all of which can give you encouragement that you are not failing and time to celebrate what you have learned together.
Good luck!!

[GC123]

It sounds like there is no reason not to do it! And it sounds like you’re going to do just fine! You’re a good mama and you want the best for your littles. You will be able to do this. No one is super patient, or just right. I’ve heard many comments too but I just know in my heart what I believe is best for my dear children. School has not gone as perfect as I had imagined, but that’s just life. And you know though, it has gone great! Our family benefits greatly from being together, working together, growing together. I believe that is the way the Lord intended for it to be and that is why it just works, and we love it.
Enjoy planning, gathering curriculum, setting up supplies, enjoying your children, reading and all that! There’s no better “job”!
When it comes to support, the other homeschooling moms at the coop will most likely be of great encouragement to you as you get to know them more and spend time with them. I didn’t really think about that too much in the first couple of years. I was more interested in doing all the things I could think of doing for Homeschool without outside influences. Then naturally I became acquainted with other moms and although we share similar views I think its best to get encouragement from within our family, and from the Lord.
God Bless your family and your journey. It is lovely.

[Forchristandkids]

Oh sweetheart, dear sister friend, you can do this! Let me just say, if homeschooling required the most patient of moms, I wouldn’t be doing this either! lol! Who among us is the most patient mom? I haven’t met her yet! She’s certainly not hiding out in my mirror! Starting anything new is always most frightening in the days and moments right before we begin. This past year I, too, had a 2nd grader and Kindergartener and a just turned 2 year old running around underfoot. But still, I know, even the different between three children and four children is quite a difference when managing the day to day. I had to keep reminding myself that Kindergarten is still a year of fun and exploration and a lot of cut, color, paste, storybooks, and learning through play. That helped me a lot on days when I felt really bogged down and like I wasn’t getting through everything. I remembered to give myself and him a little break and I was more freed up to focus on my older child and I could get through what needed accomplished there and not push so hard with my son in K for a few hours or for the remainder of that day. I wish you had more support in your immediate neighborhood, but maybe through the larger support group you will meet others who are closer than you think. There will be slow days, hum drum days, difficult days, and amazing days. I’m sure you already anticipate all of these. But it is SO do-able. We are all rooting for you! Have you ever listened to any of the Homeschooling in Real Life Podcasts? They are funny, real, encouraging, and down-to-earth. Here is the link: http://www.homeschoolingirl.com/episodes/
Good luck as you count down these weeks to beginning! I hope you receive much encouragement and feel surrounded here and through your larger support group by others who are in your corner!! Best wishes!!

[melissa228]

I understand how you feel as I’m in the same boat! I’ve been doubting if I should homeschool too. My 5 yo requires services for speech and behavior that we get through the district. He has improved a lot but I still wonder if I can take over or find him the help he needs. This is a big decision! I also am afraid of failing my kids. The “what ifs” start going through my mind and I’m just not sure I can do it!

But ready or not, homeschool here we come! I know the benefits greatly outweigh the risks. Am I crazy? Perhaps. Will it be perfect? Definitely not. Will I doubt my decision a million more times? Uh yeah! Despite all my fears and shortcomings, we are going ahead with our decision to homeschool. Just look at all these experienced homeschoolers on this forum! One day that’ll be us!!

Just know you’re not alone in this big decision to homeschool. you and your husband will no doubt decide what’s best for YOUR family! best of luck!

[SuziE5]

I know that every mom doubts her ability to succeed at this. In fact I beleive any mom that doesn’t is more then likely delusional. I was taught that when you start doubting, DOUBT THE DOUBT! go back and remember why you wanted to do it in the first place. I have noticed that my doubts tend to set in when others say negative things to me, or at times when we get busy and done give our schooling the time it needs each day, or when I as a mom feel like I am not giving my best. But the trust is when I re-examine I find that we are doing OK. An usssually Mom just needs a quick break or a recharge day to get back on track.
You can do it.! It is so truely worth it! And most of all you are doing what you think best and that is all we can do as moms!
Keep it up and God Bless you each day!

[JenniferDHS]

It sounds like you already made the decision that homeschooling is a good fit for you and your family. That is the first step! You do have a lot going on with therapies, but I truely believe those who feel ‘called’ to homeschooling will succeed.

The first year has the most trepidation, but as you gain experience and become more familier with how your student learns, the curiculum, etc. it goes away. There are a lot of resources online: Confessions of a Homeschooler, DearHomeschooler, etc. Online and local support systems will help you build confidence in yourself. We all have bad days, but the good days far outweighs the bad. Being able to teach your own kids is an experience can’t be duplicated anywhere else. You have the will to success, so I believe you will.

[KBroom]

I totally agree with all these other mamas! Sounds like you’ve already made your mind up! I have just one piece of advice to share with you that someone told me a long time ago. Remember, God doesn’t call the equipped, He equips the ones He calls. Hope this helps!! And good luck, I think you’ll do awesome!!

[erica]

Hi! I love all of the comments that others have left for you, what an encouragement! And I agree with what they’ve all said as well! Just the mere fact that you’ve done so much to prepare, plan, and think about this choice shows what an awesome mama you are! It sounds like you have all of your ducks in a row an are ready to go!

Your kiddos are blessed to have you, and you’ll do a wonderful job homeschooling. I know getting started can seem overwhelming and kind of scary. But honestly once you get going you’ll see that it’s not such a big scary thing. YOU CAN DO IT!!

I think we all feel a bit of doubt regarding our choice to homeschool, especially when starting out because it’s kind of like a big unknown. I think I would be more worried if you weren’t feeling these things! It’s totally normal s we take on new un-chartered waters. But also keep in mind how you’d be feeling if you were to put them into school knowing it wasn’t the right decision. You’ve clearly given this a lot of thought and hopefully prayer and you are doing what you think is the best for your children at this time. With some of the special needs your family is facing, homeschooling will allow you the freedom to be flexible to make that happen too.

Here’s a post I did awhile back on getting started, it also has a vision worksheet to help you list reasons why you’re choosing to homeschool. And it will come in helpful on harder days when you can’t remember why you went this route too!

Homeschooling 101 - Getting Started - Confessions of a Homeschooler

I know getting started can be overwhelming! If you’d like more help, you can check out my Homeschooling 101 book that will help answer all of your questions on how to get started homeschooling, choosing curriculum, creating lesson plans, etc.
http://tinyurl.com/a38obj4

I hope that helps, and am praying for your family as you begin this new journey!!

[mamalisa]

Well thank you COAH community and Erica too! You all are so sweet and encouraging.

I am nervous and excited. This morning my husband said, ok, I think we should do this. Let’s talk… !!! So I’ve started making my immediate to-do list of all the stuff I have to get done asap! I feel like we may be getting started at the 11th hour a little bit but I’m still so freaking excited! (and scared, did I mention that? ha ha)

We are both nervous about telling the boys (7 and 5) they won’t be starting school where they thought. This is our last hurdle I think. If you have any tips/advice/experience on this conversation I’d appreciate it. Obviously we will share our reasons for doing this and how this is better for them and our family, but for a 7 year old who is looking forward to seeing his friends in class, this is going to be difficult.

[erica]

You’re welcome! And we just try to make sure we do plenty of play-dates and we do lots of sports/extra curricular stuff too. So they still see friends quite often, and don’t feel like they’re missing out on anything. We also do a once a week options program where they go and do elective classes for one day. When we first started we also did a small co-op with two other families which was lots of fun. There are so many ways to have fun while homeschooling

And I felt kind of scared or anxious before starting every year for the first several years LOL! I think it’s a combo of the new year coming, and also the uncertainty of how it will all go. Totally normal And it goes away after you get the first couple of days under your belt!

[arenee2701]

Thanks for all the advice in this post, It helped to reassure me as well.

[myjoyx8]

Don’t stress! I feel this way, every other day it seems. We just started (pulled our boys out last Nov. 1st (4 of our 6)), God is good and faithful. Any time pouring into our children in his name is a blessing and will have lasting benefits! I know I worry about what they are missing out on, if I’m doing a good enough job, etc. but I know they are learning and they are loving, so that’s good for me.

I was a definite not homeschooling mom, I didn’t want to do it, I didn’t think I could do it, and we have various special needs in our family too, mainly our oldest has Autism. So when we pulled our guys last year I couldn’t really believe I was making the jump into something I never thought I would do or be able to do.

God however has been so faithful, my guys are excelling, even our son with Autism is blowing our minds, I think homeschooling is what I should have been doing all along with him, he can express his learning the way he wants, and the results are amazing (ie. he put on a whole puppet show for history last year, amazing)! Our other special needs boys with speech and OT issues are chugging along, making process and working hard, even though I’m not trained or special in anyway, God is equipping me each moment and working wonders/miracles. Now that we have started our second year, I’m still blown away. Loving every minute of it, and wondering why I didn’t do this while my guys were young. We have a 7th grader, 2 6th graders, 5th grader, 4 grader and 3 grader, all boys (the ones home this year are 7th,one 6th, and 3rd).

We are a blended family so three of our guys have to remain in the public school for now, but last year from Nov. 1st until June I was able to home school one of those three. And we just had an iep meeting for him at his new middle school since he had to go back this year. And the teachers both reg. ed and special ed, along with the assistant principle were amazed at the progress he made in that short time he was at home. That made me tear up and gave me the most awesome encouragement that we are doing well, even amidst my concerns.

I hope you are hanging in there, and enjoying your new role now as teacher! There are hard days, days you will ask yourself “why am I doing this”, “should I be doing this”, etc. But be encouraged, you’ve got this and whatever you don’t have (maybe all of it ;)), God has it so no worries!! And hold tight to those awesome days, when you can’t imagine doing anything else!!