Priorities...well mental help really

This seems like such an easy thing…I mean priorities…EASY, our kiddos. Well, sometimes there are other priorities that are almost important and things that God has also called us to do…soooo here is my issue…

I NEED to spend more time on education with my children this year.

No my kids aren’t behind (well I have a few who can’t read, but they are taking their time and just now getting interested).

I do believe that education can happen in more than an 8-3 setting. I do believe that play and exploring are part of normal education.

BUT I want (desire, need) to spend more time. I don’t mean more hours a day, just more time. The kids finish up “formal” school work activities pretty quickly each day so that really isn’t an issue, but what did become an issues was other priorities.

This past “school year”, I spent a lot of time on our churches food panty and everything related to that food pantry. I teach Sunday school and Childrens Church and Wednesday night activities at the church. I DO NOT want to give any of that up.

I am the director of that food pantry. We have no reliable volunteers and the few we have are too overwhelmed to handle the tasks that I do (believe me I have tried). We are only open one day a week, but there is also a clothes closet involved and well it takes maintenance (more than you can imagine…well take your house multiply it by 10 or 20 if you have a small house and those are the clothes you deal with…now take a 3x3 closet (its bigger than that but…) and now you can see what I am dealing with). There is the ordering of food, the managing of donations, the maintenance of client information. HOWEVER I love it. It is what I am suppose to be doing, but so are my children.

So now, I have taken on a part time job … it helps to pay the bills, but it is also stressful. I work from home (kind of), there is a lot of travelling and dealing with adult children (these are adults who refuse to accept responsiblity and can’t seem to make decisions) and its just a lot of stress. I want to see this organization succeed, but if they keep acting like fools…IT AINT HAPPENIN’!! I am the executive director of this organization.

So…HOW am I suppose to do all this?

I feel a ton of stress!

I have prayed and honestly I don’t believe I am suppose to give any of this up.

I really don’t have anyone to help. Hubby is home, but him picking up the load for anything is a no go.

My oldest son is going back to public school this year (10th grade), his choice. I know that will add in another set of stressors because I don’t care for public school education, but I am allowing him this because he is a great kid, great student and this is what he wants (I am okay with that).

My oldest daugther is 22, has Down syndrome, is great help around the house when she remembers she is an adult and not a 4yo having a hissy fit.

Then there is the rest…4 more. Great kids!

I need someone to just talk to me. I know you won’t really have any answer, especially if I am not willing to let anything go, but maybe just someone to tell me that I am not out of my mind and that it really is doable…will help.

OH add in…my mother. LOL! 66 years old, lives 4 hours away…has “boyfriend” that is 30 and a total 'not a good person". I have ulcers and have put on 10 lbs since she decided they were a “thing”.

Sanity if faultering, ulcers are building, mind is fluttering away!


@Zookpr I sent you a message :slight_smile:

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(((Hugs))) You do have a ton going on!

As far as how you are supposed to do it all…

I would do this as you are praying through what to do:

List out how much time you spend on each task that you do:

house keeping
training kids
preparing & eating meals
home school
relationship with hubby (date nights etc…)

Everything related to home and family.

Then list out the time for your job.

Then make a list of time it takes to do all of the extras:
prep for teaching
organizing, coordinating volunteers etc…
Try to list out all of the tasks you do and the time you spend each day/week on them.

Is there any margin in your life? Do you have time for daily prayer/time in the word? Do you have time to “just be” with your kids, your husband?

Do you have adequate time with your family? Are you on top of the kids’ needs, training/character issues/homeschool etc…, or do you always feel behind the 8 ball? I don’t mean perfectly on top of their needs (that’s a myth!) but…if something comes up, do you have time to deal or are you maxed out and pushed over the edge?

What would happen if you dropped some things like teaching at church to focus mainly on home and the food pantry? Could you be taking an opportunity to serve from someone else, or is God really calling you to do all of these things?

Is the parttime job really needed…or does it give a cushion that feels good but you really could cut spending and make it not that necessary?

Only you can answer these questions, and you don’t need to answer to us. But if I was praying through whether I was over-committed or not, these are some of the steps I would take to see, practically, if I really had enough time to do all that was on my heart to do.

Sometimes we have seasons in areas of service, just like there are seasons in life and in motherhood. You don’t have to serve in every area you have an interest in or a passion for…maybe this is a season to serve and involve your kids in it all, or maybe this is a season to cull and not serve as much. If you really don’t have time to adequately minister to your family right now, then something does need to give, but not necessarily forever–just for a season.

Ask God to give you wisdom as you pray through these. Ask him to multiply the time and talents you are able to give, and to raise up others who can serve in the areas you care about, whether alongside you or in place of you. Ask him to give you a window into your kids’ and husband’s heart, to see if they need more of you. Ask him to give you and your husband wisdom with finances, to know whether there are ways to cover expenses without you working, or if that needs to be a priority right now.

Praying for God to lead you as you consider these areas carefully!

I know this isn’t easy because I just had to step down from a ministry I care deeply about. Sometimes we just can’t do it all. No one expects you to. And…the ministry is first and foremost the Lord’s.


I gained a lot from reading a book called Are You Serious About Marriage? in relation to this topic as well as others. Don’t let the title set you off, it is so much more than what it suggests. I remember reading specific accounts of others in the same situation as you (and i have felt like you do too), and then what the author helps us to see through it with Bible lenses. Very, very helpful, uplifting, freeing and more.
I’m editing this because it might have been the other book called A Little Of This, A Little Of That. in any case, they’re both great reads!

Do you ever feel overstressed, as in having too much to do, and just can’t seem to put all the priorities in order? You will find answers to these issues and many more in A Little of This and a Little of That.

Y’all are the greatest. Thank you!