How do you stay focused and disciplined?

I have a very rambunctious 7 yr old son, he fights me so much when I mention it’s time to start his school work (EVERYDAY)! This is wearing me down, I feel like my spirit is broken. It’s a consistent battle! I pray continually about it, and do my best to best patient. Some weeks I feel like we get to Friday and we accomplished nothing! All suggestions appreciated.


Hey girl. I will pray for you and all those mamas out there who just want a little cooperation. I may not have great advise, but I can give you company. I am right where you are at! 7 year old boy who fights it. He does love bible and we are using grapevine studies, so I always start with that. Eases him in, but the fight usually starts with math. (Which we do next to get it over with) he can do the work, usually gets all the problems right but still insists on testing my patience on getting it done. We have been using a reward sysyem. That helps some, but every day there is a fight somewhere.

1 Like

Since January or so my husband had been helping with other subjects of school. With his help it has made me more focused and has helped me to stay on track and get things done.

1 Like

I almost cried…I feel so validated! My son is very bright, picks up new concepts quickly, but fights me still the same! What is your reward system? Is it strictly used for school work? I actually just looked into Grapevine studies😀 it looks like something he would enjoy so it’s so hands on and creative! During the episodes where your lil guy is not cooperating, how do you keep your patience? I have dealing with this now for a year, and am pulling my hair out:(

1 Like

We call it the “warm fuzzies.” I am sure you can find something similar on pintrest. My kids may NOT ask for a fuzzy (you know the fuzzy craft balls), but if I catch them doing a really good job on something (which sometimes simply means, they didn’t complain) then I will let them get a fuzzy. They do not get a lot every day, and sometimes none. We made those little tissue box monsters (via pintrest) and they feed their monster the fuzzy, but a jar would work as well.The real payoff is when they finish a curriculum. You know those little sheets they give kids to keep track of how many lessons they have done… well at the bottom of the page where they finish I put 25 FUZZIES! Amount of fuzzies depend on the subject. So there is a real excitement about finishing something. They WANT to finish it. They can redeem their fuzzies for a list that is posted near by. I asked them what they thought would be fun. 3 fuzzies= peice of candy, 10= you pick the movie for movie night, ice cream shop, small toy, new book, and the list goes on. The biggest one we have is 200= awesome lego (we give a limit on how price of lego). I never though they would want that one, but as it turns out they have been saving all year for a big lego. They are close and we are finishing curriculums. So the time is near, and they are getting excited! My 4 year old at the begining last year was spending them like crazy. When she saw her brother get the big stuff, she decided to save up this year. Kids are so funny. Hopefully, I did not overwhelm you. I like what mommyof3 said, and it is true. My husband helps with school sometimes too. Sometimes it helps to take a break and let someone have the struggle for the moment. Then you can step back into the ring with a little strength. And one more thing, I don’t always keep my patience, and I do have to apologize to my kids for losing it sometimes.I still wouldn’t trade the time and memories we have made for anything. Homeschooling is awesome;)


I’m glad you brought the Mommy focus part of this up. I am having so much trouble staying consistent with homeschooling every day. Life just washes away all my good intentions as soon as I wake up in the morning. I’ve tried sticking to a schedule and find it too discouraging when I don’t follow through on it. Help!

Every child is so unique. My youngest who is 8 now threw me a learning curve. He is a wiggler and I had to realize his learning style was different than mine. I had to change to met his needs. He needs videos, Text books with color, less writing than the other kids so I combine subjects, he needs routine which means I have to be structured. He needs 5 minute playtimes between subjects. I let him do stuff when I read aloud like drawing. legos ect. For the most part now that I get his particular learning needs it goes easy. But, on the rare day where he still doesn’t want to start I bring the reward system. For his personality type this motivates. I wish I would of relaxed more on my learning curve. It really does change and get easier as they grow.


I feel the EXACT same way. Daily I wake early, pray, and by 10:00 I feel as if I’m behind already for the day! I feel as if Im constantly re-evaluating our curriculum, on weekends I make beautiful lesson plans, gather all supplies, and when Monday comes—NO follow through! I get side tracked by my sons resistance to schooling or I let more then 10 minutes pass between subjects…I can dig deep and really be on my “A” game for months at a time, then, 1 thing can interrupt the flow and suddenly we are 2 weeks behind with no focus and no schedule!!!

1 Like

I’m not even sure I know how to relax anymore! It’s heart breaking!!! I feel so sad that I have become so undisciplined in myself, and stressed by my sons tantrums, that I over compensate with trying to fit it all in in a few weeks! My sons learning style is very kinesthetic/auditory/creative/wiggly😋 I’m very text book, pencil to paper, sit quietly. How do I figure out how to change MY style of teaching to better suit his style? Hopefully that will help make a difference in structuring our school day and help with the self discipline I need with scheduling.

1 Like

I think one of the hardest things to realize as a mom is that boys learn completely differently than girls. I also wanted my boys to sit quietly at their desks and work. I finally realized I was fighting their natural tendencies. So we ditched that, and it has been much better since. They get their work done all by standing at their desks, rolling on the floor, constantly moving around, and being noisy. It was hard for me at first, but once I let go of my expectations, they were getting all of their work done in a way I didn’t expect. My youngest was also throwing fits about math. When I was able to stay calm (ha ha), he did much better, and his confidence grew to where he no longer throws fits about math. He realized that he can do it and is capable. Now, he does much better, but always by moving around and being loud. I had to step back and allow them to find out how to be successful on their own.


My son was the same way our 1st year. He still has his days but is better now that we have been homeschooling longer. We have a reward system. If he has a bad attitude or does not complete his work due to laziness, he cannot watch/ play any electronics. He can also only play Nintendo on Friday evening. If his work isn’t done, due to his own attitude, by Friday then there is no Nintendo. He will then have to wait another week before playing it. After not being able to play the games for 3 weeks straight he then realized I was serious. We don’t have many problems anymore.

He also needs to know the plan for the day. I have a list that needs to be done that day. As he completes items he checks them off. He has adhd and needs mini breaks through the day. It also helps if I am sitting with him while he works. I usualyl do lesson planning while he is working on worksheets. I try to limit the number of worksheets he has in favor of more hands on activities. Praying for you!


Sorry to hear this, I agree some days it is so hard to start on school. Would he do better if he had the morning to play and have fun and then do school maybe after lunch? Mine do better in the am, but sometimes i take the morning and let them do what they want, I can clean the house, do laundry or cook and then in the afternoon all are ready to get after schooling.

1 Like

My mantra (read excuse!) is we homeschool and I’m in charge, so we can do it however, whenever, and wherever we want!

I still fall behind on the motivation to actually do things. This morning my daughter took out her Letter of the week pre-writing practice for Q. I thought we were doing great since she started all by herself! So I decided to take a potty break. Silly me.

I came back to find that instead of writing her work she decided to cut it apart and make a Q crown!

Thank heavens queen starts with a Q!


Now that is thinking outside the box! I LOVE it!

it must be a 7 yr old thing… haha… I tend to be very distracted by nature - Lord help me! Why am I homeschooling, haha… so we tend to feed off each other. sigh I need to get better at focusing… we get through our core items, daily - but rarely do we get to history and science, things that are his favorite!


You read my mind:) I’m glad I’m not alone!!

1 Like

I found pre-coaching was very helpful when my kids were young. The night before, we would talk over the next day’s routine. Ie, “What will we do tomorrow?” Get up, get dressed, make bed, eat breakfast, read Bible, do school…

If you have a regular routine that they are used to, you get more cooperation and less fighting. And when they’ve thought through it ahead, it also helps. “What kind of attitude should you come to school with?”

Praise for good attitudes, helpful spirits and so on.

Make boundaries clear. "If you fight with Mommy, I won’t have energy to play a game after school."
or bake cookies, do puzzles, or other things you like to do together that you don’t have energy for because he wore you down.

Model and role play how to work with a good attitude, even when we don’t feel like it. Role play how to get up with a good attitude–have him actually get in bed, then get up for the day and pretend he’s starting school with a good attitude, saying “yes, mommy,” and so on. Praise for good role-playing and let him know that’s what you expect tomorrow. “Do you think you can do that?”

Hang in there–it does get better!

I found workboxes really helped with consistent expectations too.