Having a hard time

My question is related to my 10yr old son. He has been homeschooled for 2 yrs starting 5th grade this fall. My husband and I are having an issue with getting through to him. We chose to homeschool for a faith centered curriculum and increase / improve family time.
We are trying to teach respect and we hear great remarks from other adults that interact with him but he doesnt treat me with respect along with other behaviors that we just dont understand.
He is an intelligent kid but doesnt put effort in his schoolwork. He gives up sooo quickly. I’ve asked him if he is ok with being a quitter his response was YES.
I dont know how to teach him to be a harder worker and to push himself.
I’m posting this concern here because I only hear how good of a kid he is from family and church community but we are really concerned that what everyone doesnt see and our biggest concern is he is lazy and we dont know how to light that fire to motivate him…despite years of trying

I had a hard time with my oldest in 5th grade too. She just didn’t want to do school and put up a huge fight. She didn’t care about grades or requirements or any of it. We were completely butting heads and it was SO frustrating. I had a heart to heart with her and she said she wanted to go back to public school (background, we had pulled her out of public school after 2nd grade, because she was being bullied and struggling to keep up with her learning differences). At first I was very resistant to the idea and I tried to talk her out of it by reminding her what started our homeschool journey in the first place (we liked it for other reasons like providing more Christ-centered education and more family time too, but we started looking into it because of her struggles) and that it would mean getting up earlier every morning, getting ready and going into the world again with no more homeschool schedule :sob:. She insisted that she would still rather go to public school (but nothing personal Mom). While I was praying for direction, my husband actually got a job in a small town with great schools and we felt it would be helpful for making new friends and connections if she were to go to public school as she requested.

She thrived in 6th Grade, such a huge positive change over her previous school. Her attitude was great and she was highly motivated. I guess she needed peer interaction and to be taught by other teachers. She had matured so much and learned to advocate for herself and accommodate her own learning issues in homeschool, so that season wasn’t wasted, but it was just a season (I had thought it’d be for the rest of her school career). God had different plans and knew just what she needed and when I let go of my ideas and plans I could see and accept His plans for her life.

This year in 7th Grade, the first year of middle school here, she has done so well so far. Her teachers are very impressed with how well she is doing. She needs very little accommodation for her disability. She’s involved in sports and band. She is well liked by students, faculty and staff. She has friends (the kid who used to be in the social skills group). It is a miracle! She didn’t fit in her old school, but this child was created to go to this public school in this season. It doesn’t invalidate the homeschool season in her life that that season has closed.

Now, did it magically resolve the issue with giving her parents attitude sometimes while showing the rest of the world her delightful self? Our relationship has improved now that we are no longer butting heads all day as I’m not her teacher, but sometimes we still have issues to address.

That’s just our similar experience and the choices that we made, your situation comes with it’s own needs and unique circumstances, but that has been our experience with the choices that we made.

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