First Semester & Down In The Dumps

I have a 9th grader who we all even him thought that home school would benefit him do to bullying at school and work not being turned in. He loved it at first but as the weeks go by he is getting down in the dumps because there are no other kids his age around. His attitude has really changed to the worse. So I am here to ask how do you keep your child’s social life going while they home school. My son does not like sports. He is more interested in reading and playing games. We don’t think he had many friends to begin with. But he does have social media where he can talk with those he went to school with. But he says he doesn’t like that kind of communication. Please Help…

I suggest looking into a homeschool group in your area, or a co-op. It is going to be different than what he is used to, and new friendships, if with other homeschooled children, will also be different. But they can be better!

It takes time to adjust to things. It will take some adjusting and time even for you to learn how homeschooling can be great for your family. Read as much as possible. That has been part of what I’ve done and God has given me a vision for our family and children and homeschool through much reading and researching as well as other things and much prayer.

Another suggestion I have is to make learning interesting to him, personalized. Give him plenty of opportunities to be excited and interested in learning. Don’t just do school at home, as in what a typical school does. Go on field trips, find places to go to for learning and make it sound exciting.
Plan a project that relates to what you’ll be learning about and tell him ahead of time that you will be working on once you get back. Let him have his own ideas and plan together, too. Visit the library and pick out good books, mixing in some books of his interest that you know are good for him to read and that he can learn more about a topic he enjoys and get him excited about it. has some great little resources from time to time that are fun. But you can look for things online, such as things for boys to build, young man’s handybook, american boy’s book of bugs… Some of those are book titles but they give you an idea of what to look for.

He has to have something to look forward to, something to be excited about. Learning and/or doing something(s) of his interest, even if you need to create an interest in him about something that is good and beneficial to him, will also carry him through the hard and not so fun parts of learning.

Homeschooling is a time for building a deeper relationship with one another and with God, and developing the character and interests and gifts/talents of each child. There is so much to do and be excited about and look forward to. You must look for it and keep trying!

Best wishes!


I second @GC123. The first year, no matter the grade level can be quite an adjustment. Your child has been in public school for quite some time and even though it was not working our for him it was what he was used to. I read somewhere (and have now forgotten the exact number) that it takes approximately 1 month for every year a child is in public school to “de-school” keep that in mind as you figure things out.

Have you contacted your local library? They sometimes are in the know about homeschoolers and if he already has a love to read it might be a nice break from the home life.

My daughter was in 8th grade our first year of homeschool and it was difficult all the way around. There was not a local group or co-op in our area so 1-2 times per month we travelled 2+ hours to join a Meet-Up group. We did everything from play games at a library to ice skating. I wouldn’t want to do it again (due to the amount of travel time), but it was helpful for the kids because even though we went with different groups, they were around other kids and having fun.

Talk with your son, what are his expectations and what does he like about being at home versus school? What would he change and how would he change it? Get him involved in his education. If you’re doing a public school option at home there is not much to change with the curriculum, but if you are not using that option, there are a zillion options to work with.

My oldest is now in 11th grade and doing well. After the Meet-up year we joined CC for one year an hour drive each way once per week, but the group didn’t stay together. Next, we went to a P.E. group once per week and this year we are in a band class (an hour away) once per week. So things are always changing, but in a good way and we have made some friendships along the way.

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Sorry to hear the adjustment has been rough on you and your guy. As the others said I would look into finding groups in your local area. Start on facebook and search for home school groups in your area. We are in a very home school popular area and there are more groups and activities in our area than you could shake a stick at, but you got to find them, and visit them and find ones that fit you and your guys style and interests. Check programs and your library too! They often have tween/teen programs (not just for homeschoolers, but some might) Also, just because your kid is home schooled now doesn’t mean he can still continue friendships with peers from his public school, as long as they are true friends that will not cause him more problems! Our kiddos are much younger but we have many friendships with kids that they have know for years that go to public school, we just arrange get togethers for weekends or days that they are not in public school. Above all else if you can not find a group in your area that meets your needs start your own! You are bound to find other kids with similar interests you could start with simple meet ups like a game night, or anything that your child enjoys that could be applied to a group setting.

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I’m sorry to hear your son is or was having a hard time.
Sometimes I find myself asking what can I do to help my eldest son with making friends. I certainly didn’t choose great friends growing up and for a long time I wished I would had chosen better influences.
The bible speaks volumes of what true friendship is and how to be a great friend to yourself and others.
It also explains the dangers of spending time with the wrong crowd.
I keep leading my son to Jesus and helping him pray for the type of friends he would like to be around.
I encourage my son and my two youngest children to have standards and expect that God will provide the lasting friendships they are looking for.
But first:
My children must learn how to be a great friend to themselves and each other before they can be “social” in a world that is more focused on being “social” on social media.

Socialization is a coined term to get children used to dealing with other children in a classroom that they don’t necessarily want to be around or play with.
Take heart continue to encourage and pray with your child for the friends he would like to have and encourage him to be the friend he wants.
It’s all about loving your neighbor!

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