Child doesn't Remember

I m having trouble with Cupcake who is in third grade. She is having trouble with remembering rules in reading (sounding out words). I am getting so frustrated and I know it is making her too. I think I am more worried that see will not read well enough to pass the end of the year testing. If she does not do well my husband wants to put her in public school. Please Help

Hi there @Suzann4848 I am no expert but I thought I’d weigh in just to offer some support and encouragement. Just a quick question so I know a bit more where you’re coming from: what reading program are you using (if we happen to be using something similar I might be able to offer some better advice)? My daughter is also in 3rd grade and this is our 4th year homeschooling (including her Kindergarten year). We aren’t required to do any testing, so I am not able to be very helpful on that front, unfortunately.

To me, it sounds like Cupcake may have moved too quickly through some foundational reading progress along the way–perhaps moved forward when she may not have been ready to? The answer may be to go back in the curriculum you are using and re-learn from the point where you and she felt comfortable. Of course a lot of reading aloud together can be tremendously helpful–even through longer chapter books. For awhile she may need to take a break from reading while you read to her and she follows along. I know this all may seem very tough while a test looms in the future. Especially if you feel pressure of her needing to perform well in order for you to be able to continue with homeschool. But certainly if you are feeling that pressure, she is likely to as well. But above everything, what is most important is her positive progress in reading and both of you not feeling pressure and stress together.

I really just wanted to say I feel for you and please, if I can be of any assistance, I would be glad to help! We are using All About Reading as our reading program for my 3rd grader if that helps at all. You’ll be in my thoughts and let me know if I can help or answer anything else.


Thank you for your kind words. We have been using All About Spelling for 2 years which I think it is a wonderful program. This year we added Spelling U See. We are not required to test. My husband is wanting to have her tested and in a small way I do to see how much she is absorbing.

You are welcome! You’ll be in my thoughts! We also use All About Spelling and I’ve looked at Spelling U See several times because it looks so wonderful!! Are you also using a reading program separate from the spelling programs? I know with All About Reading and All About Spelling the programs go nicely together but do present different information. I’ve also looked at Learning Language Arts Through Literature and Pathways Readers recently–for Pathways Readers the price is low and I’ve seen good things about them. We may consider changing to those next year for increased reading comprehension for my daughter. But those might be another option and even considering starting one level back if you think she might be more comfortable there even if she moves quickly through that level. Just ideas–I wish you the best!!

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Hi, I had a 4th Grade DD in the same position. Last year it was really bad the reading and comprehension just weren’t there the way they ‘should’ be. I wasn’t sure what to do. I looked through all the reading programs and even considered if we were perhaps dealing with a learning disability. Finally I went to see a lady who does a one on one session with you to help with your homeschool needs, (she owns a curriculum store) so she would talk through the situation and pick out curriculum or give suggestions according to your needs. I told her our problem and she said that the first few years were too rigorous for DD and she was probably showing me that she was not ready for the next level and that we were moving too fast (burnout), she told me to slow down and be more gentle for just a year. She had suggested LLATL but only for one year (if I wanted a full LA curriculum), or to piece it together with things like Growing with Grammar, Soaring with Spelling or All About Spelling and reading lots of good books that may be a little easier for her to allow her that time to relax in her learning. We decided to go with Heart of Dakota this year so I went ahead with an ‘easier’ guide- Bigger with extensions (although technically she could have done Preparing),and I got Rod and Staff for Grade 4 but we have been doing it mostly orally vs writing everything out. I used the dictation for spelling (for now) and I have been reading all the textbooks for her while she reads whatever chapters are due for any novels we have in her extensions. I have found that we still need to work on reading but it’s no where near as bad as it was before (NOT even CLOSE!!!) and her comprehension is growing vs what we experienced before. It has only been a few months but a gentle year worked for her. I’m not sure what you are using as far as curriculum for your DD but maybe you have a few things to consider? Is what you have used in the past too intense? Maybe you need a gentle year? Are there any learning difficulties that would require you to do things differently? Maybe if you have changes you needed to make concerning the above you could hold off on testing for another year while you make the changes and see if there are any improvements? I hope this helps (not for you to switch to my specific plan) but just for some suggestions. Blessings.


Proverbs31, Thank You so much for your thoughts and info. I have read your letter several times. She is Bipolar and rarely does she get up in the same mood. I think I am worried that she will depend on me so much rather she want try and think on her on. She seems to do a lot of that now. God Bless You


My DD relied on me a lot too and asked me questions for every question she had to answer, I would help her think through everything on her own instead (for example in reading she would guess the word or say any word she felt like saying, I started having her sound out the word like what does ‘ear’ say?- then she would sound out the word with no help from me unless she didn’t know the sound) and now the questions and reliance on me have become less and less. I started having her read some of the instructions on her own (In our HOD guide) and she is now doing the Science note booking and vocabulary work on her own. It has taken some time and training but little by little we are getting there.
I pray that all will be well with you and that you find what is best for your family. Keep us updated! :slightly_smiling:

Does she know all the phonograms well that you’ve covered and just struggle to blend them into words? You may want to consider calling All About Learning and discussing more specifics with them. My DD8 has have various struggles with learning to read, more than what you have listed. We are in the process of testing for dyslexia. If you have concerns about dyslexia, this website has a lot of helpful information.

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We have a high school junior who was a “Leo the Late Bloomer”. She had difficulty with reading, spelling, memorizing of any kind and math. We realized she had some minor visual tracking issues, but the biggest revelation was allowing her to learn in her own time, at her own pace and not placing major stress on her. (We have five children from extremely academically gifted, to artistically gifted.) She is now right on track to graduate and will take community college classes next year

Obviously your husband’s wishes can not be disregarded. As someone who has taught in elementary public schools and at University level (Chemistry), here are a couple of articles that you both may (or may not) wish to read:
Testing Killing Creativity

One Dad’s Journey

Just to give another side to the coin…

Blessings to you…